"The waiting place....
for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a yes or no
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting."
Time to pour my heart out!!! I feel as though I am at this waiting place. Waiting for all the ifs, whens, and mights. We can't plan a trip because we might be pregnant. When we have kids we will do such and such thing. If we get pregnant this cycle we will (fill in the blank). I'm tired of waiting for life to begin. I don't want to look back at my life when I am eighty and realize that I spent it all in the "waiting place". I don't want to reach 30 and feel that way! Infertility has put our entire life on hold. Yet, we don't dare put infertility on hold, because we only have five and half years left until the dreaded advanced maternal age kicks in. My new goal is to live life to its' fullest in spite of infertility. This summer will be filled with camping, trips to the lake for fishing and swimming, a carnival or two, parades, fireworks, barbecues and maybe even a trip to the state fair.
We will have the summer of a lifetime as soon as Mark is no longer working out of town to pay for treatments, I feel better from the side effects, we have spare money for fun, and more than three days without a doctor's appointment. Yup, we are not going to wait any more.