Monday, September 27, 2010

BBT charting

As most infertiles do, we are now charting Basal Body temperatures! Yay! Fun! No more sleeping in, no more staying up all night and no more avoiding waking up to a foreign object in my mouth. Mark Has been wonderful in the charting in that the alarm goes off, and he turns off the alarm, pops the thermometer in my mouth, waits for it and charts the results. I rarely even fully wake up during the process. However, this morning, Mark forgot to turn the thermometer on and as he reached to turn it on, I thought, in my mostly asleep state, that he was taking it away. So I let go, and so did he. I had no idea that I could almost swallow a thermometer whole! Anyone else have charting snafus?

And time marches on......

I have finished my first progesterone prescription and also finished off the clomid. I had all the labs completed and time is marching on. I also now have an "official" diagnosis of insulin resistant PCOS. Truthfully this gave me a scare as we were reaching this conclusion. Dr. Get me Pregnant accidentally ordered the wrong glucose test which made it appear as though I was a full blown diabetic when the results came back in. Luckily Nurse Fabulousity caught it, reversed the charges and got the Dr. to order the correct test. Which means that I had to drink that disgusting glucose stuff a second time. The second lab came back only slightly abnormal, and hopefully the metformin will be enough to put it to rights. The other labs showed low estrogen, high androgen and left me with baseball sized bruises up and down my arms.
Mark's labs also came back slightly abnormal but the Dr. thinks that there is a good chance it was a fluke. He is supposed to see a Urologist to be retested in a few months, so we will see how things go. Want to know a secret? A small, and I do mean small, teeny weeny, part of me hopes that Mark's test results were not a fluke. Part of me wants to not be the only one with issues, wants to not be our only impediment towards parenthood. I'm awful. However, a much larger part of me hopes that the results really were just a fluke.
Surprisingly, the side effects of the clomid have been none existent for the most part (so far). The progesterone was another story. Two days after finishing the treatment, I honestly was wishing for death I was in SO MUCH PAIN! I have never experienced muscle aches,cramping and emotional loss of control like that in my entire life. I am really hoping that I will not have to go through that again next month!
I can't seem to function except in terms of fertility treatments. It has invaded every aspect of my life. Activities are planned around when meds need to be taken, or when ovulation might occur. I can't focus on school and my grades are suffering from it. I really need to buckle down. I know I should be realistic and accept that this will most likely not be a successful month, but that fragile, paper thin hope is there. Terrifying. Exciting. Exhilarating. Horrifying.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

So.....I saw my drug dealer today...

.....err, I mean I saw my fertility specialist today. As of today we are officially undergoing fertility treatments. So far its relatively painless. I take a few pills on a complicated schedule of progesterone here, clomid there and a little metformin thrown in in for good measure. Tomorrow I go in for a fasting blood draw and a glucose test (which I am already dreading!). Wish us luck!

I agonized over whether or not to reveal our treatments and what we are going through but a few things made me decide to blog about it. First, Dr. Get me Pregnant urged me to find a way to vent and connect with other people in the same situation and I'll admit I have been known to search out blogs about infertility. Secondly, DR. Get me Pregnant encouraged me to be open with friends ad family so that when I am in a hormone induced rage over who didn't put the cups on the table exactly three inches above the plate, they would forgive me. Lastly, I wanted, no, needed a place where I could vent, cry, rage and express my fears. Sometimes I tend to overwhelm Mark with the strength of my emotions, so having a place to work through them will be good for me.

So here is the breakdown of the good, the bad and the ugly of fertility treatments.
*the cost of fertility treatments has been surprisingly low so far. The prescriptions were only $70 or so and the appointment was about the same. This was even without insurance. Mark and I still have labs to do however.
*Dr. Get me Pregnant and his wife struggled with infertility for several years so he understands where I am coming from
*So far I have taken my first dose of progesterone and metformin and no hormone induced rages have occurred.
*I'm terrified of not getting pregnant
*I'm terrified of getting pregnant
*I have school to distract me