The new RE

Today was the big day. I met with our new RE this morning. He seems to think that I just need a little more help in the ovulation department than what clomid alone can give me. In fact, he feels that at this time IVF would not be a good option, and that we should explore less invasive options first. The trans vaginal ultrasound that I was freaking out about was A LOT less horrible than it sounds! However, both ovaries are completely riddled with cysts. It was really interesting to see as well as heartbreaking. At this point I start taking metformin again and provera. I have to do a blood draw on cycle day 2 as well as a baseline ultrasound (eww...). Cycle day 7 I get the joy of an HSG test. This one REALLY has me terrified after reading the comments from this post. The plan is to try a cycle or two with clomid and follicle stimulating hormone to see if I can get enough hormones to trigger ovulate. Wish us luck!

I guess...

....that it is my fault for putting the basket down while the clothes were still warm from the dryer.

Terrified.........

I see the new RE in under a week and I am terrified! A part of me is afraid that he will be convinced that we shouldn't try further. Irrational I know, but the fear is there.

I think that it equates to the same fear that I have of the IVF. If we don't do IVF we can at least have hope, and a someday procedure. If we do go through with the IVF and it fails, then that hope is gone, that someday is removed from the equation. I think I could live without children for the rest of my life as long as that hope was there, the possibility. I wouldn't want to, and I wouldn't like it, but I could do it. To live without children and without the hope seems so very insurmountable. The hope of fertility treatments has been the only things to hold me up through the last few years, I don't know what I would do without it.

awwww......

Almost there!

The IVF fund has increased again to a whopping $10,112.00!!! Mark is home from Cedar city so the crazy overtime has come to an end. That will slow down our progress some, but we should still be able to reach our goal of $12000.00 by the end of March.

MMMMM!!!!!

I just got this book! The master recipe is awesome, it has to be the best bread I have ever tasted, and the simplicity of the process is awesome! It is so nice to just be able to pull a blob of dough out of the fridge and have fresh bread thirty-ish minutes later!

Squeal!!!

Mark surprised me with a silouhette Cameo!!!! I am so excited! Off I go to play!