5dp5dt -Negative

Why do I torture myself?  I knew that it was too early for a home pregnancy test.   I knew that not using early morning urine was a bad idea.  I knew not using an early detection test was stupid.  I knew it would be negative.  I knew I would cry.  I just couldn't help myself after reading about all the 5dp5dt positive results that are online.

 Five more days until Beta.

Tell me that there is still hope, because I can't seem to find it.

3dp5dt

It has been 3 days since our 5 day transfer and I am slowly driving myself insane.  I am doing all the typical things like debating whether or not I should test, and googling things like "3dp5dt symptoms".   This is my first day off of bed rest since the transfer (really the first day since the hysteroscopy!), but I am still supposed to take it "slow and easy" for another two days.   So far, the only thing I have accomplished is folding all the laundry that Mark washed while I was on bed rest and getting more in the washer.  Just doing that little has made me tired.  I think it is just a result of the progesterone and the fact that I was on bed rest for almost three weeks.....but in the back of my mind I keep wondering if it could be a symptom.  

Speaking of symptoms, I had more "pregnancy symptoms" before the transfer than I do now.   I realize that those symptoms were from the progesterone, but now they have mostly disappeared.   I am hoping that is a good thing, but honestly I would be a bit comforted by some nausea right now!  I keep obsessively looking for implantation bleeding, pondering every twinge and possible cramp, evaluating every food craving and examining my sleep patterns.  Sleep.  Sleep would be a very nice thing.   Until the transfer occurred I was sleeping about 15 hours a day and still felt tired, now I stare at the ceiling all night and still feel tired.  Go figure.  

Last night Mark officially dubbed our little embryos Bun and Muffin.  It tore at my heart to have him reveal so much as far as his hope for this cycle.  He has been keeping so much locked away, I think because he has been afraid to hope.  I think he will struggle more than I realized if this does not work.

Only seven more days until beta...be sticky, babies!

The frosties

I realized this morning that I have neglected to write about how many snow babies we have now!  When we arrived at the clinic for the transfer we found out that we had eight beautiful blasts the were all high quality and suitable for transfer.  We also had six that had not quite made it to blastocyst, that we were going to give a wee bit more time.   As of this morning, after everything was said and done, we have six perfect 5 day blasts and two 6 day blasts frozen.   A total of eight snow babies!   Our progress looked like this:

29 eggs retrieved
25 eggs fertilized
24 embryos divided (20  right on track, 4 lagging a wee bit behind.)
14 left at day five
2 transferred
8 snow babies

I feel like knowing that we have some snow babies has taken a lot of the pressure off this cycle.   Yes, we will still be devastated if it doesn't work, but we have hope in the freezer so to speak!  I went into IVF promising myself that as long as we had some to freeze, I could be okay with a negative, I guess now I really get to find out if that is true.   Mark and I have already decided that this will be our only fresh cycle because of how very hard it was on me, so really having snow babies means a lot.

Do you know what would mean more?  If the babies we brought home would be sticky.  Please, be sticky babies.

1dp5dt

I feel as though everything should feel different right now, like the world should be bathed in different colors or something.   It's just me that's different though,   I am officially PUPO (pregnant unil proven otherwise).  Yesterday, we transferred two beautiful, healthy blastocysts.  The experience was so very surreal.  As I watched the ultrasound screen and saw the tiny white spots where our embryos were left, it was like the world stopped.   I can't quite get around the fact that I walked into the clinic at 3:15 in the afternoon and later walked out with two precious, beautiful possibilities snuggled deep within me.  Twin possibilities for joy, sorrow, hope, love and so much more.   As I have been on bed rest today, I have repeatedly found myself  muttering the same phrase over and over with a protective hand against my stomach...

please, be sticky babies.

How are those embies?

We got our day three report on the condition of our embryos today and it was great news.   So far:

29 eggs retrieved
25 eggs fertilized
24 embryos divided
20 embryos right on track
4 embryos lagging a wee bit behind.

Holy cow, am I excited!   We should get the time and other details of our five day transfer tomorrow.

On a different note, I am finally starting to feel better from the retrieval, I am still sore and swollen, but no where near as badly as I was.  It also appears as though the OHSS is under control.   Right now my biggest complaint is the endometrin.  It makes me sooooo very tired and nauseous, and the longer I use it, the more irritation I have.  Anyone else feel like this while on progesterone support?  

The fertilization report!

I have spent the majority of today in bed, with our sweet puppies cuddling up to me, but I certainly got out of bed quickly when the embryologist called!  Or rather, as quickly as I could considering that I am still in a good amount of pain.   The embryologist had great news for us, 25 out of 29 eggs fertilized.  Those are such great numbers considering we were told to only expect 15-20 to fertilize!   In two days, the embryos will be taken out in order to change the culture media and at that point a final decision will be made as to whether we will be doing a three or five day transfer.   It will most likely be a five day, but we will just have to wait and see!  

I thought this image of where our embies are at in development was neat!  We're still waiting to find out how many fertilized!