I have been struggling recently with a bit of a melancholy spirit. I am so torn on whether or not to continue fertility treatments. It is true that we have only completed a cycle and a half and are currently in the middle of our second two week wait. I realize that this is nothing to many of those out there that have been pursuing treatment for years. It's just that I can't see us ever being parents, I used to be able to, but after seven and a half years of trying, it just seems so insurmountable. I feel as though there is no hope, and as though we are simply wasting money, time and other resources on something that will never be. Mark wants to keep going with the treatments, but I just can't seem to get the drive.....or desire to do so back.
I am hoping that this is just a funk that I am going through, because I feel the same way about school right now. However, if this is just the winter blahs, I have a long way to go before I am going to be over it!
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We are a family made up of a husband, a wife, two dogs, and a cat that thinks he's king. I am a homemaker, Mark's an electrician. We are fully entrenched in the world of infertility treatments, as we try to live our lives. Join us while we make some memories and hopefully a baby too!
3 comments:
I read this today and I thought of you. Praying for you and Mark.
http://www.incourage.me/2010/11/the-depth-of-an-empty-womb.html
Just stopping by from ICLW (#100). Hope your 2ww goes by fast. But I do understand that after being at it for so long it seem like it will never happen. I hope that you can find some peace and enjoy the holiday.
It's hard to know when to get off the roller-coaster, isn't it?
~Jem, ICLW #5 – http://ambivalentwomb.blogspot.com/
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