Melancholy

I have been struggling recently with a bit of a melancholy spirit. I am so torn on whether or not to continue fertility treatments. It is true that we have only completed a cycle and a half and are currently in the middle of our second two week wait. I realize that this is nothing to many of those out there that have been pursuing treatment for years. It's just that I can't see us ever being parents, I used to be able to, but after seven and a half years of trying, it just seems so insurmountable. I feel as though there is no hope, and as though we are simply wasting money, time and other resources on something that will never be. Mark wants to keep going with the treatments, but I just can't seem to get the drive.....or desire to do so back.
I am hoping that this is just a funk that I am going through, because I feel the same way about school right now. However, if this is just the winter blahs, I have a long way to go before I am going to be over it!

my life in a nutshell!

Cycle Two

We will be beginning cycle two of infertility treatments any day now. I took my last dose of progesterone a few days ago, so now it is simply a waiting game until I begin taking the clomid again.
Infertility is all about waiting. You wait to get pregnant, you wait for the doctor to see you, you wait for test results, you wait to take meds, wait for ovulation, wait to be able to test, wait for test results (again!), wait, wait wait. Have I mentioned how bad I am at waiting? I am not a patient person, so waiting rubs me the wrong way. Perhaps there is a reeason for all of this......but, you would think that there would be an easier way to teach me patience!

Celebrate good times!

We have been quite busy in our neck of the woods. October was celebration packed! It all started with M turning five and wanting a cake with strawberries....



She was certainly excited about some of her gifts!



The following week was fun as S turned four.....


Can I just say that I have decided that it is nearly impossible to take candid photos while dodging the heads, arms and other obstacles when dealing with a small room filled with twelve people arounf our dining room table!

S was overjoyed with recieving lots of new dress up items to replenish the dress up box...just in time for Halloween!



S was also very happy to share her birthday with one of her favorite people...Ashley!



Ashley surprised us all at the birthday party by officially announcing her engagement to this guy....



....my dear brother in law, Martin! I have to say I am glad that he proposed....because it was a little odd when he gave her an orange for her birthday...



We then had to celebrate Mark's birthday the following week (it was late by a week, but we try to do all birthday parties on Fridays!)



In some of these photos, you get to see our birthday cakes...let me just defend ourselves and say it just simply was not our month for cakes! We had two layer cakes crack and break creating sagging finished products. We had a cake overflow in the oven and fill the entire house with smoke and more than a few fingerprints in the frosting!

Then, the next week we celebrated Halloween with Dinner in a pumpkin!